Friday 27 June 2008

LAND OF THE FREE... FREE TO SHOOT SHIT


Yay, thanks to smelly Republican Supreme Court justices, the ban on handguns in Washington D.C. has finally been lifted. Now I can go and buy back my Smith & Wesson, and finally shoot my fucking neighbour's yappy little dog, because God damnit I'm Amurrrcan, and this is the land of the free. And then I'll shoot the neighbours, too. And then I'll start spelling it neighbors, to make it sound like I'm actually American. Damnit.

The Second Amendment of the U.S. Constitution states that as an American, you have the right to bear arms. That was originally devised in 1776. At that point, there were Native Americans running around, angry because Europeans had stolen their land, pretty much wiped out their Eastern tribes, or moved them into the wilderness. On or anywhere near the frontier at that point, there were scary snakes and buffalo and shit. Not to mention French, Spanish and British forces. America, at that point, consisted of a fairly small population of people, spread out over quite a lot of land. Thus, they encouraged each landowner, who were all technically militia men, to bear arms (this amendment is NOT the right to arm bears--but that would be so funny).
Cool.

Fast forward 232 years, and there is a National Guard. And a state-funded, very powerful army. Defence is something America certainly has. So to claim Americans have a constitutional right to own a gun is severely outdated. Most people who own a gun in America, if they purchased it specifically for defence, would use it to shoot
other Americans. Or Mexicans. This shit is fucked up. It's always been a tricky subject for the Supreme Court to address, for obvious reasons, but the last thing the American gun-slinging population needs is further defence of their actions, and the excuse that as long as they're gun-slinging Americans, it's cool. And this does not help.

The U.S. should really try increasing knife crime in urban areas, that's worked pretty well in the UK. Or they should actually arm bears. Now THAT would scare off terrorists/Mexicans.


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